I'm not going to go so far as to say that I don't usually get friendly service on airplane travel. I usually fly Virgin (on longer flights) and Southwest (for trips back home to the South)- 2 airlines that I think- based on my experiences- have earned the right to brag about good service. However, I recently had my first foray into the oft-exalted first class. On a non-stop flight from Los Angeles to New York City and back again, I was given the key to this secret world.
And, you know... it is truly a different dimension folks.
No waiting in check-in lines, hot towels, drinks (in glasses!) at your every beck and call, free cocktails, meals, COOKIES, a personal entertainment with noise-cancelling headphones, seats that recline ALL THE WAY, pillows, thick blankets... and, most importantly, a complete lack of that awful putrid canned-air smell that usually rules the nostrils as soon as one steps onto a plane.
Additionally, the way you are treated is night and day. It is as if the crew is delighted to have you! Perhaps in this difficult, painful economy American Airlines is indeed pleased to actually have First Class Passengers- but one gets the impression that this is the normal treatment of passengers by crew.
A few years back and for reasons I've never completely deciphered, a switch flipped in me. I have flown all my life. As a child of divorced parents who lived in 2 different states for a while, I flew by myself at times at a very young age with nary a care in the world. Takeoff and landing used to feel like a ride. However, somewhere in my early 20s, that changed. Takeoff and landing began to find me white-knuckled and staring breathlessly out of the window... mind racing with the darkest thoughts of the fragility of human life and the hopes that I have just pinned to a metal tube that is now hurtling miles above the earth at 500+ miles per hour. The slightest turbulence sends me, full steam ahead, into the most intense prayer sessions while switching my iPod to the Gospel genre.
On the flight- perhaps empowered by my treatment as a "first class passenger"- I took it upon myself to walk up to 2 female flight attendants on my way to the bathroom. We had been experiencing turbulence. And let it be known that, for me, the longer turbulence persists during a flight the more convinced I become that the wings are slowly ripping off the fuselage and the plane is indeed falling apart. I approached the 2 kind ladies and asked them to hit me with it.
'Be totally honest, I can take it. Does turbulence make you nervous?'
In response I was not only greeted with the most satisfying and calming answer possible ("Not in the slightest. Turbulence is like driving on a bumpy road") but they then used another tactic to make me forget all my troubles:
They informed me that I had won the flight attendants' Cutest Passenger Award.
That's right... if you ever happen to encounter me during a rare instance of "losing it", just remember: tell me I'm hot and all will be forgotten. This is a truth that I actually did not know about myself until this trip to First Class. Ok so maybe I'm a bit egotistical in this regard, but- hey- if giving me statistics that support the idea that flying is a safe way to travel and explaining the harmless physics of turbulence don't comfort me, is it so bad that complimenting my looks is what does the trick?
Everybody's got their something.
As for future travel, it's going to be hard for me to go back to the dreaded cabin next time I fly. Comfort will most certainly decrease, service will not have that gleam-in-the-eye/glad-to-have-ya attitude and cocktails won't be free. I won't be able to acquire the miraculous noise-cancelling headphones unless I get a 2nd mortgage. The 3 hours of sleep I caught on my return flight in a fully reclined seat with blanketed comfort will only be a treasured memory.
However, it's best that one gets to experience the High Life every now and then. Keeps the dreams fresh. Ensures that one remembers that there are still goals to be attained, still mountains to climb and still peaks to be reached. Now when I'm putting in the hard hours, I have one more conquest to add to my life's checklist.
You will be mine again, First Class. Oh yes, you will be mine again.
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