Saturday, May 15, 2010

We Could Use A Rambo...

Say what you want about the movies of the 80's.

I mean, sure, there are some classics from that time period in cinema...but they also produced some major stinkers in that decade. Come on...Mannequin!? I don't care how big a cult classic that has's a story about a store clerk who falls in love with the talking mannequin in his department store window!!!!

Say even more of what you want about movies from the 80s starring guys who sound like they're in the middle of a stroke (Stallone...).

But, you know- they did get some things right occasionally.

Rambo, First Blood: Part II came on TV today. And you know, the 80s seemed to be making a political statement at the end of the Cold Way: "If you're a bad guy, we're going to send one of our bad asses to KICK THE EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF YOU." There is something inspiring about that, and it makes me wonder:

Why don't we have more of that today?

Only 3 people come immediately to mind when I think of people who this country- the supposed Best Country in the world- cannot locate.

1) Amelia Earhart...and I can't say I blame anyone for this. After all, she did crash somewhere in the largest body of water on this planet in an era where technology couldn't track her very well.

2) Jimmy Hoffa...listen, if the Mafia doesn't want you found, not even Spy Satellites are gonna find you.


3) Osama Bin Laden.

Now, the 1st 2 are forgiveable. But, let's keep #3 in perspective, Amelia and Jimmy didn't ATTACK OUR FUCKING COUNTRY.

What I want to know is what exactly is stopping us from having a set of balls? What is keeping us from hiring some bad ass mercenary son of a bitch, giving him a Pay-Per-View camera crew and letting him have full reign over every nook and cranny of Afghanistan to find and kick the ever-loving shit out of Osama Bin Laden?!?!

I just read a Vanity Fair article about a former-biker-turned-born-again-Christian-preacher in Pennsylvania who has made it his life's mission to hunting down and murdering Ugandan terrorist and leader of the Lord's Resistance Army in Africa (who kidnap children and make them part of his army), Joseph Kony, because this preacher believes God wants him to.

Now, if one former Hell's Angel turned Christian, has enough conviction to sell everything he owns to fund his mission to stop some jungle warrior, why doesn't the USA say "Ok, enough...we're ceasing all unnecessary military spending and focusing on finding this old, diabetic Muslim whackjob who killed thousands of our people almost 9 years ago?"

Is it because we've become too concerned with violating international laws? Is it because we're worried about civil rights? Or is it just because we're being too polite?

I don't know what Bush's former and Obama's current excuses are, but I do know there are certain things that mean a lot to the people of this country. And one of those things is having a government who knows that you have to draw a line in the sand every now and then and act like they're in some old Dirty Harry movie. You know the one...where the hero (us) stares in the direction of the bad guy who has fled (Osama) and says "You done fucked up now. I'm coming for your ass."

Maybe 9 years is too long. Maybe there are too many conflicting opinions from the innumerable Talking Heads out there now to get that job done.

But I still would relish the day that we go all Postal on Bin Laden's ass.

And I think the widows and parentless children of all those who dies on 9/11 would too.