The First Annual Hootenanny Awards, Part Trois

Greetings Cine-philes!

Why must I divide movie awards into 3 sections, you may ask? Well, to be quite frank...I don't think the current system of awarding movies is sufficient. There HAVE to be 10 Best Picture Nominees now, despite the fact that last year, for example, I couldn't name you 5 I thought to be worthy.

Star Trek? Come on now...

So, I break this down in the ways I see fit. As you may have seen, I like to discuss movies that most likely will not be discussed in any awards- and I like to give my opinions on movies that are being discussed and are, sometimes, overrated.

Enjoy!



The Stinkies


The Did. Not. Bother. Awards-quite simply, these are movies that I did not even bother with.

1) ALICE IN WONDERLAND: This is a movie I really wanted to see. Depp as The Mad Hatter?! Yes please. But, I began hearing what I'd feared from the trailers confirmed by friends: Tim Burton has somewhat lost his ability to deliver anything but amusing visuals. I hope he finds his way back.

2) REPO MEN: Maybe this doesn't deserve a DNB Award...I actually didn't know it had been release. What happened to you, Jude Law?

3) CLASH OF THE TITANS: Vomit.

4) THE LOSERS: I would have traded seeing Jonah Hex to see this, but it wouldn't really have made a difference. My life would have been equally wasted.

5) IRON MAN 2: Not many people can make lightning strike twice. And, hey, I was right in my suspicions about Transformers 2, so why bother with this...?

6) MACGRUBER: Really wanted to see. Was sorry to hear there were a total of 3 noncommital laughs to be had in this flick.

7) SHREK 4EVER AFTER: Never really got into the Shrek craze. And, from what I hear, neither did anyone else this time around.

8) SEX AND THE CITY 2: Never really got into the SATC craze. And from what I hear, there were a lot of disappointed women and gays this time around.

9) PRINCE OF PERSIA: SANDS OF TIME: Sexy people and action are not enough to make a good movie. I'm sorry, Hollywood, you still have to make it a movie worth seeing.

10) A-TEAM: Meh.

11) KNIGHT AND DAY: I mean, what more can I say? I just didn't care about this movie.

12) TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE: Have not ever, will not ever.

13) WALL ST 2...: It's sad that even Oliver Stone is fucking movies up these days.


14) THE TOURIST: If Angelina does not stop making that ridiculous sultry face, I'm going to vomit all over her foreign children.

15) LITTLE FOCKERS: Oh great! Ben Stiller AND children in a movie...what more could I possibly ask for?!?!

16) LIFE AS WE KNOW IT: Josh Duhamel, check. Katherine Heigl, check. Lack of any sort of care/concern/excitement to pay money to see them do anything on screen, check.

17) THE KARATE KID: quite possibly the most offensive re-make to surface in a loooooong time. All the studio had to do was NOT fuck up and this movie would have gone through the roof. Guess that's too much to ask...



The Final Categories

I present to you the most prestigious (or most embarassing) of the Hootenanny Awards- the Best/Worst of 2010!


The Gimme A Break Awards, presented to the Worst movies of 2010.
RUNNERS UP:


HOT TUB TIME MACHINE: Should have, would have, could have... But a puzzingly unfunny movie for the most part.


GROWN UPS: Occasionally funny, but only because I was stuck on an airplane.

THE WOLF MAN: Enough said.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 2: As if the first one wasn't a terrible enough film with that incredibly bad awful ending, this one managed to stretch out the terrible-ness out for an entire 2 hours! Thanks a lot guys!

SHUTTER ISLAND: I know, I know, I KNOW...a lot of you suckers fell for this movie. Do yourselves a favor, read the book. See what the movie SHOULD have been.


THE WINNER: JONAH HEX--- as I mentioned before, ranks in the top 5 of worst movies I have ever seen. And I am including those awful movies they should to show on USA network's "USA Up All Night, hosted by Gilbert Godfried/Rhonda Sheer". It makes one wonder how a movie in that kind of shape can be allowed to see the light of day...



The Goodies



The Not American But Who Cares It's A Damn Fine Movie Award- also known in some circles as the Best Foreign Language Film.



EL SECRETO DE SUS OJOS (THE SECRET IN THEIR EYES)- ok, ok, ok...it's technically a movie from 2009, but I saw this in 2010. And, it may be redundant to name the winner of the Foreign Language Oscar as earner of the Hootenanny. If you see this movie, you will completely understand why I would do so. This is a fine example of a film that pulls off, quite perfectly, 3 different genres at once: drama, romance, mystery. A feat that is often rarely executed well, this movie A retired detective searching for a purpose begins to write a novel about the one case that has haunted him and his colleagues for years. That is the simple summary. Ultimately, this story is about closure...it's about trying to correct the mistakes or missed opportunities of the past and moving on. The acting is wonderful, the pacing is wonderful and the cinematography is gorgeous. Pay attention, Hollywood...you need to make more movies like this.



The Thank God For This Movie Award- this Hootenanny is gleefully presented to the movies that helped make 2010 a year not completely lost on cinema. I did not get to see every good movie, I admit. Consequently, some movies that were great this past year will not make the list. I apologize for that. But hopefully you will find some solace in agreeing with me on most, if not all, of the following.



RUNNERS UP:

THE CRAZIES- it's nice to be surprised here and there. Even if only by a small thriller.

PIRANHA 3-D- intentionally, refreshingly and unapologetically BAD. :-)

HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON/TOY STORY 3- Everything kids movies ought to be...and yet still able to fulfill the adults who watch it (and make them cry).

JACKASS 3-D- stupid, ridiculous, childish, immature, pathetic, socially worthless...maybe. Funny as hell? Absolutely.

THE TOWN- Ben Affleck managed to be really good in front of the camera...and yet, he proves again that his greatest talent lies behind it. Renner's great, but Affleck's direction is the standout of this "Heat"-esque heist film.

THE GIRL WITH THE DRAGON TATTOO- hyped for a reason. Give yourself the opportunity to see it.

THE SOCIAL NETWORK- When I heard they were making a movie about Facebook- even though it was Sorkin and Fincher- I had no idea how that could work. Well, bravo...they did it.

THE FIGHTER- in the tradition of Rocky, this movie had a lot of heart. Didn't expect too much from this movie, but was given a lot in return.

BLACK SWAN- Aronofsky is a genius. Such a creepy, moody, theatrical and yet sad story...but told so well it didn't hurt to watch as much as Requiem For A Dream.

TRUE GRIT- Re-making this John Wayne classic seemed sacrilegious at first. Then, I found out it was starring Jeff Bridges. And Matt Damon. And was written and directed by The Coen Brothers. And then I relaxed. And all was right with the world...especially Bridges' performance.

THE KIDS ARE ALRIGHT- Families have problems. We've all heard the story before. So it's always nice when a movie or a book or what have you manages to give us a fresh look at the troubled-family idea. Benning, Moore, Ruffalo...all really strong performances too.

WINTER'S BONE- solid acting and cut-to-the-chase storyline and directing make this one of the most honest and simplest stories of the year. Also, the world that was created/portrayed was one of the finest of the year. Take note, Tim Burton- story does not have to be sacrificed for atmosphere.

THE KING'S SPEECH- They just don't seem to make 'em like this anymore. 2 great actors playing extremely well off each other...and not a single explosion, or tit, or TMZ-favorite to be found anywhere near this production. Further proof that good movies should be made more often.

THE WINNER: INCEPTION- ok, ok...bear with me. The best movie of 2010??? Well, yes...being a truly unique story goes a long way these days. This movie may not be the wisest movie we've ever seen, and it may not have been the most well-acted of the year...BUT it certainly was a thought-provoking, head-spinning, well-done tale by all involved. It's been a really long time since I've walked out of the movie theater feeling drunk, but Inception gave me a whole hell of a lot to think about. Not to mention, it also provided a lot to appreciate. As my good friend Will pointed out today, Inception was one of the few truly original, unadapted scripts that was produced last year. Again, I say...if you just give people a little more credit, you can have a HIT that also happens to be a truly good movie.

And finally...
I'd like to recognize 2 theaters in the Los Angeles area for special Hootenanny Awards. It seems over the last 15 years, the theater experience has grown larger and more complex with each new multiplex constructed. With that, however, so have the prices. And with the competition that the movie-go'ing experience now entails, a little of the magic of going to the movies has been lost. I'd like to tip my hat to the following:

The Saddest Theater Loss
This year, the Beverly Fairfax Theater was closed and will most likely never re-open. It has existed in Los Angeles since the 1920's and was, according to an article I read, one of the first theaters in Los Angeles wired for sound. Sure, it wasn't the most luxurious of theaters over the last couple of years...but the art-deco style of the theater was most more pleasant than the bland cookie-cutter designs and garish advertisements that overwhelm moviegoers in multiplexes these days. Additionally, the BFT showed Indie films and 2nd run showings at very cheap prices ($5) matinees and ($8 at night). Not to mention, the BFT produced a very popular and kitschy Midnight Friday Series...showing movies as fun and iconic as The Goonies and Labrynth to classics like Casablanca and Psycho- movies most of never had the chance or most likely will have the chance to see in theaters. The BFT, sadly, has become the latest victim to a lack of management creativity and the power of the pursuit of the Almighty Dollar.

Best Theater in Los Angeles
While the Beverly Fairfax Theater has sadly gone away and smaller theaters in Westwood and other parts of the city await their inevitable fate of becoming fast food joints or doctor's offices, the New Beverly Cinema continues to defy all the rules of this fast-paced, consumer-driven city of LA. Bringing to the community classic, iconic movies or movies that have developed into cult classics or ones that are just plain fun, the "New Bev" runs on the love of cinema. Not to mention, the management of the New Bev also happens to be quite skilled at bringing in cast members, directors, editors and others associated with many of their films for Q&A's. And it is for these reasons, combined with their clever taste in movies, that they continue to be succesful. Drive by the New Bev on a Friday or Saturday night- or even sometimes during the week- you will see lines to get in on the good ol' plain fun that is happening inside. And, as fortune would have it, this theater's future was pulled from uncertainty by one of the greatest movie-lovers around, Quentin Tarantino. It really does warm my heart to hear that someone would put their money where their mouth is and help a business which exists only to entertain and provide enjoyment to the community. I wish the New Bev many more years of success!

Oh, and check 'em out at http://www.newbevcinema.com/ if you have a second. You'll probably see something you like playing soon... :-)

Well, kiddos...that's it.
I wish you all many hours of enjoyable movie watching in 2011.

See ya 'round the theater.