The First Annual Hootenanny Awards, Part Deux

Welcome back you lovely lovers of celluloid magic!

A few days ago, Nate's Verbal Hootenanny unveiled Part 1 of The First Annual Hootenanny Awards designed to honor the Best/Worst/Crappiest in Film. And I know you have all been waiting with baited breath to see PART DEUX...soooo here it is!

The Stinkies

The Most Disappointing Awards- these awards are presented to films that were extremely anticipated by me or enough people whose opinions I respect that I looked forward to them....and then turned out to be big steaming piles of horse excrement.

1) THE WOLF MAN: If you saw it, I feel for you. If you did't see it, don't. What an awful and lazy attempt at modernizing a classic horror movie. It's almost as if Universal didn't even respect their own movie enough to re-do it well... Oh, and don't worry...you're going to see this movie again on another Hootenanny Awards list that will be brought to you soon.

2) THE BOOK OF ELI: Yawn. That's all I can say. Yawn. Another prime example of Hollywood having a great premise based on very popular material and yet still managing to mess it up. It's a sad state of affairs, my friends.

3) JONAH HEX: Well, my friend Will doesn't work for DC Comics anymore so I can be completely honest when I say: Jonah Hex miiiiiiight be one of the worst things I have ever seen. I mean, I love movies and I love going to movies. Which means I've seen a lot of garbage in my life...but this ranks right up there at the top. I can't even recall the last time I've seen something that I couldn't pull one, single positive thing from. I wanted out of the theater and I want that 2 hours of my life back. Plus, swiftly kicking whoever was responsible for allowing that movie to go theaters in the condition it was in would be nice.

4) RED: In the 80s, this would have been pulled off well. Hell, even in the 90s this would have been pulled off well. But today...it's as if someone handed the studios a gold nugget and instead of cashing it in and getting its full value, Hollywood decided to scratch its name into it and stomp on it and crush it until its potential was lost. Now, granted, this movie has its charms. Malkovich is brilliant. And Helen Mirren/Brian Cox are wonderful towards the end. But, this movie should have been SO much funnier. Just a disappointing result, that's all.

5) TRON:LEGACY: Admit it...the only good things about this movie were the score and the effects.

6) MACHETE: Great trailer in "Grindhouse", great director, great potential. Robert Rodriguez unfortunately seemed to get too excited about his "Fuck Arizona" campaign he ran with Danny Trejo as Machete and weighed his movie down with a message that, frankly, I'm sick of hearing about.

7) A NIGHTMARE ON ELM ST: Ok, first off...you have to understand you're dealing with a man for whom the Elm St series was a rite of passage in his family. My cousin used to torture me by making me watch all of these videos...until I man-ed up and began to love them myself. Now, they are much more nostalgic and kitschy than scary, but they are still good fun. I was VERY excited for this remake...and walked out of the theater wanting to find Wes Craven, shake him and scream: "HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?" Apologies to my friend Dave at New Line Cinema...I know you're good at what you do, buddy, but I just have to be honest when it comes to this movie.

The Goodies

1) THE CRAZIES: Already discussed in Part 1... This movie will never win any awards, but it was definetely a fun 2 hours in the theater.

2) PREDATORS: Seeing as how there hasn't been a good movie involving a Predator since the 80s, I didn't have much hope for this film. However, I was pleasantly surprised at the unique-ness of this film...from the first body falling out of the sky all the way through the ending. Not a bad bet if you're looking for a fun movie to rent (does anyone do anything but Netflix anymore?)

3) PIRANHA 3-D: SUCH a breath of fresh air... a movie that promises you shlock and gore and tits and ACTUALLY DELIVERS. I leaned over to my friend Ryan at the very start of one scene and said with giddy excitement "Oh my god...this is going to turn into a bloodbath!" And, boy howdy, was I right! Such a ridiculous movie in all the right ways!

Individual Categories
If I had my way, this is a glimpse of how the Oscars would go down.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR: Geoffrey Rush
Ok, so I know everyone is ga-ga over Christian Bale. And deservedly so. He was brilliant. But, the performance I could not get my mind off of after I saw it was Rush's performance in "The King's Speech." Rush was so subtle and charming- his was a role that almost felt like a throwback to the charm of actors like Cary Grant and Jimmy Stewart. He was wonderful.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS: Melissa Leo.
At once a hysterical charicature and deeply layered person, Leo's loud-mouthed mother in "The Fighter" walked a fine line between being despicable and extremely sympathetic. Kudos also go to actor Jack McGee as Wahlberg and Bale's father...for some reason, he has flown under the radar. His was also a big contributor to the heart of this film.

*Kudos also to Barbara Hershey in"Black Swan"...it's nice to see someone do a really great job in a role that is easy to mess up after being away for long.*

BEST ACTOR: Colin Firth, with a big ol' respectful nod to Ryan Gosling
If you've seen "The King's Speech", you know why Firth is wholeheartedly deserving of this Hootenanny. A shy, somewhat embarassed but ultimately capable and worthy successor of the Throne, ya just can't help but be in love with this guy. Especially when he is so snobbily horrified by Rush's demand that he say the word "Fuck" as part of his speech therapy. Firth and Rush were certainly the best on-screen duo this year.

You know my thoughts on "Blue Valentine", but if you want to see a gifted actor doing real, raw, honest, committed work, watch Gosling in this movie. He creates a very specific character while being completely honest and drowning himself in the tragedy of this character. And as wonderful as Michelle Williams is, nominating her without him is like jelly without peanut butter. Epic Fail. Sorry, Eisenberg, you took a spot that doesn't belong to you.

BEST ACTRESS: Jennifer Lawrence
This was an extremely competitive category for me. There were some amazing performance this year by female leads. I mean, Catherine Heigl in "Life As We Know It" COME ON!!! ;-)Ultimately, though, the Hootenanny Award must go to Jennifer Lawrence in "Winter's Bone". Lawrence, who can't be any older than 23, turns in such true and simple performance that you just cannot take your eyes off of her- not even for a moment. And, as the lead of the movie, THAT is doing your job.

BEST DIRECTOR: Christopher Nolan, Darren Aronofsky.
The fact that that grumpy ol' Academy did not even nominate Christopher Nolan for the year's most unique, inventine film ("Inception") is beyond absurd. Not only should he be nominated, I feel he deserves at least a share of the win- seeing as how any movie that can be so different and so unique and still be SO entertaining and gripping from one end to the other falls into the category of "well-directed". Oh...and also, anyone who can keep Leo DiCaprio from doing his usual screaming and pouting routine in a movie has real talent.

Aronofsky, by the same token, somehow made a movie out of a ballet. In this day in age, who would have ever thought that was possible? A big, huge, theatrical, almost-operatic undertaking- "Black Swan" was, at its core, really just a big look at a woman with severe emotional problems. The tragedy of Portman's character was also the heart of the movie...she was sympathetic despite being bat-shit nuts. Any movie that can succesfully keep you in the dark as to what is happening without over-manipulating you is worth an applause to the writer and director. Hence Darren A, it is with great, giddy pride that I bestow upon you and Christopher Nolan a Hootenanny apiece for your great work this year.

There it is, kiddos...
Part Deux.

Coming Soon: The final, big categories in the First Hootenanny Awards include "Best of 2010", "Worst of 2010" and the exciting category of "Did. Not. Bother"...in which I rip on movies I haven't even seen!!! :-)

Stay tuned film fans!