Ladies and gentlemen, the truth is this:
most of you suck.
Honestly.
Most of you suck when you come into restaurants to dine or drink or whatever the hell you come there to do (you'd be surprised).
Allow me to elaborate on some dining knowledge I have gained:
1) Stereotypes hold true. To avoid being pigeon-holed as this or that, I am only going to pick on one group: women. Ladies...when you come to a restaurant in a group, more often than not the servers in the establishment of your choice begin to draw lots to find out who gets fed to the Lionesses. That's no joke. You are generally FAR more high-maintenance and picky and likely to modify everything you order (including the tap water that we can't charge you for) and complain and if you don't complain to our face you'll complain when we're not there so we have no way of knowing that you are actually upset and then you take it out on us when giving what you call "a tip."
The behavior women exhibit in restaurants is more often than not appalling. And women belong in the Top 5, if not Top 3, of groups that do not tip well. So, you can imagine why we run from having to serve you.
There are exceptions to every rule.
2) Old people. Take a lesson from someone younger than you: things change. That's right, the world has changed. What constituted a generous tip in 1953 does NOT constitute as a generous tip today.
3) 9 times out of 10, if your food comes out wrong, it's the kitchen's fault. And we do not cook your food.
4) Servers also do not make your drinks.
5) If we do a good job, tip us. In many European countries, a service charge is included in your bill. There is no such thing as gratuity. Soon, that will be your fate if you continue to suck. Also, not tipping a server who deserves it is the same thing as me coming to your office, buying $1000 of whatever you sell and only paying you $800 cuz I just feel like that's what you need/deserve/what I want to do.
6) If we take care of you, you take care of us. Next time you charmingly ask me to take off a corkage fee or some other charge just cuz you don't want to pay for it and I do it, prepare to compensate me for the lost sale (that you have to tip on) or I will add the charge to your credit card after you leave.
7) Servers are there to serve you (which should be a good thing for you- one that makes life a little easier for you), not kiss your ass. Don't treat me like a bitch or, trust me, you'll pay for it.
8) We have bad days, too. And if you act like a cock on one of those bad days, you're probably gonna get bad service.
9) If you're a regular to some restaurant or bar, learn how to tip well. Or you might as well stop coming in.
10) My grandmother believes a correct tip means you double the tax. There are many reasons why this is wrong and stupid, but the only thing you need to know is it's wrong. And stupid.
11) 10%- not a single goddamm thing went right during your time at the place and your server
couldn't find his dick with a map and GPS system.
15%- things were fine but the server was rude/undesirable/smart ass/lazy.
18%- if you're being TRULY honest, your server was good. you don't even really have to be
in the mood to listen to him/her speak, or like him or want him around, but if he/she
did his/her job, 18% is what you leave. Whether you like it or not.
20%- your server was great. He was pleasant, charming, made good recommendations, and
most things went smoothly. What I mean by most is that everything the server
ACTUALLY has something to do with went well, or at least a genuine effort was made.
More often than not, we as servers don't really like you. But it's our job to pretend we
do. It ain't easy. If you don't help us out, don't come back.
*Over 20% is always appreciated and you will be totally taken care of next time you come
around. It's never expected, but believe me, you will be remembered and cared for next
time...
12) Tip/gratuity is part of dining out. Might as well factor it in to your dining budget. In a time when the economy is in the shitter, if you can't afford to tip what your server HONESTLY has earned, stay home and wait til you can.
Cuz if you come in and get taken care of and leave a shitty tip, you're an asshole.
End of story.
Thank you for your time.
*This rant has been brought to you by:
My Temper.*
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
amen.
You seem to think you deserve to be paid well for showing up and not screwing up. That's not how it works...and I'm sorry if your high school teachers told you otherwise.
Customers should tip based on service. From what I hear, if the service was horrible, the waiter should get nothing, and the customer should personally tip the busboy or bar-back. If the service was decent, then the waiter should get between 10 to 15%. If the service was exceptional, then 20% is reasonable. The aforementioned rules seem reasonable to me.
If it were up to me, I'd prefer to tip the chef personally. I can handle getting my own water, plates, and bread, thank you very much. It's the cooking that requires the most skill and competence.
In any case, if restaurants make 18% tips mandatory, customers will start migrating to establishments that don't have tipping, like Panera Bread, Tandoori Oven, Aqui Cal Mex Grill, and Sonoma Chicken Coop. At that point, your restaurant may have fewer diners, and you may be out of a job.
K-Yew...
it is quite obvious you have never worked in a restaurant before. And that's ok. Trust me, if the money wasn't good I wouldn't either.
But allow me to correct a few misconceptions that you have...
1) If the service was horrible, I understand the desire to leave nothing. I do. But I challenge the notion that service is ever actually so completely incompetent that this should even be an issue. If your service is SO bad as to warrant the complete lack of a tip, then that restaurant has MAJOR issues. And it is your right to approach management and more often not, you will be accomodated and ultimately satisfied. In my experience, people who leave no tip or extremely small tips are people who wanted something our restaurant wasn't able to provide, or whose food was cooked wrong, or who just did not want to tip. None of those issues has ANYTHING to do with your waiter. And you should not punish him or her.
2) I'd like to see the efficiency/cleanliness/popularity of a restaurant where it was the customer's job to serve himself. Be honest...would you REALLY frequent a restaurant in which you had to do EVERYTHING but cook for yourself? Would you really want to get bread and water if everyone else in the place was helping themselves to the same pitchers or bread baskets? Gross.
3) You mean to tell me that you would rather go to a Panera Bread than tip 18%? Well, enjoy your cold, bland, pre-packaged food. You just totally insulted everyone in the world who possesses those chef skills you admired in your response.
One more thing to consider...servers in most places make awful, terrible hourly salaries. It is legal for businesses to pay them less than minimum wage in the majority of states because they make tips. But then the government taxes heavily on those tips. You may not care very much, but when you nonchalantly leave 15% to server who could not have possibly done anything else for you and could not have been any nicer without being intrusive(and I swear on a stack of Bibles that this happens to every server around the world many times over EVERY DAY)- you are robbing them of money they have just rightfully earned.
You are being served. A service is being provided TO you. Considering how the government allows servers to be paid and taxed, continuing to call it a "tip" or "Gratuity" is one of the biggest, most unfortunate misnomers in the business world.
Servers are treated like crap all the time: many times intentionally, often times unintentionally.
The next time you get served at a restaurant, ask yourself if you had a pleasant time. If you did, make sure you understand that it ain't easy to make that happen...
and pay for it.
Post a Comment